Dear Old Friend

So, we haven't spoken lately and I seem to have disappeared for a while. There are few excuses for my absence but I suppose the main reason is that life has simply got in the way. Since Christmas, everything has picked up a pace and life just feels a little more hectic than what I would usually like.

What do I mean by that? Well, let's get into. I have grown up as an only-child, in a single-parent household. Now, as I write this, my mom has a partner and I now have step siblings; which is something I never thought would happen. My house has been sold and we will be moving into a new home, and combining our two families. I'm currently living out of my moms' partners' conservatory and sleeping between my stepsisters' bed, the sofa and the spare bedroom of my grandparents' house. Yup, I'm a nomad right now but it's only temporary and it's worth it. I was the type of kid who always asked Santa for a family so now, 15+ years later, I'm glad that the bearded guy finally came through with the goods.

Talking of bearded guys, there's one of those in my life too. I don't want to mention too much about him here as it's still very new but he's become a very special person in my life; one of which I'm not ready to share with my little corner of the internet just yet, but stay tuned.

In terms of studying with the Open University, I really enjoyed my creative writing module which I completed a couple of weeks ago. It feels bittersweet but I also look back at my first few pieces and feel a huge sense of achievement at how far I've come with my writing. Going into this module I was dreading the sections on poetry and life writing, as well as the idea of someone potentially ripping my writing to shreds. However, it's been an enormous help having like-minded people commenting and giving their own input on my writing; and in terms of poetry and life writing, they have earned me amazing feedback and compliments as well as high scores.

As April has come (and now gone), it is finally beach hut season again which has my sea-loving heart doing somersaults! I have managed to get down there a few times so far, however, I'm hoping that I'll get to spend more time there and fill my lungs with as much sea air as possible within the next few weeks.

Oh, and obviously, I died my hair (well -some of it). Truth be told, I have been wanting a change for a while now and when I was browsing Pinterest a few months back I saw a photo of a young girl with hair like Cruella DeVille. Now, I am not confident to rock that half and half look all over, but I definitely wanted to recreate it with my own little twist. It's not as white as I'd like it yet but it is getting there (Yes, I'm a twenty-one year old who wants white hair).

So as you can see, a lot has been going on. I'm not sure what the next few months will bring this space but I'm hoping to get back into a posting schedule and get some fresh content on here throughout the summer.

Cheerio for now!
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Studies | 16

I have been studying with the Open University since October 2014. This year I am studying module A215 Creative Writing, which will be my third year with the OU and my third module towards an open degree. Due to my health, I am a part-time student which means it will take twice as long as a full-time student but I will get there eventually. 

The A215 Creative Writing module was actually the module which attracted me toward studying with the Open University so in many ways my first two years of study weren't just towards my degree but they were almost stepping stones to get to this module. The module is divided into five sections with it covering the creative process, writing fiction, poetry, life writing, and the final section is centered around going public with your writing. 

So far I have really enjoyed the module, and feel my writing has really improved in the short time I have been studying and practising certain techniques. I think a lot of people have this notion that writing is easy; that you sit, pour out a couple of sentences and then simply string them together. It doesn't work quite like that. There is a lot that goes into it behind the scenes; such as freewriting, clustering, character creation, developing your style and voice, etc. 

While I have really enjoyed the module so far, that's not to say that it has come without its' difficulties. Through the writing process I have noticed that writing is subjective, and while I may think it is perfect at that moment in time I may go back to it a few days later and be appalled at myself for not picking up on certain mistakes or decide that I dislike the entire piece. Writing is something that happens within a moment in time and when you return, you may not necessarily like what you read. Another thing I have noticed is I make a lot of silly/simple mistakes like mistyping/writing words (using the wrong words, leaving out words, etc) and so reading aloud has become my best friend; which is also a great tool for testing punctuation and sentence lengths. 

I have really enjoyed this academic year so far. I can't wait to look back to compare my first few pieces of work with my last few pieces when I complete this module. 

What do/did you study? 

Cheerio for now! 

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A letter to twenty

You were the year of twenty. The year I didn't greet well and the year I'm kinda glad to say goodbye to. Having said that, there is a bittersweet element to bidding you farewell.

You marked five years of living with chronic illness'. You marked years of failed attempts at trying to regain my health, feeling isolated from and misunderstood by the world and more importantly feeling as though I'd failed at making something of myself and making my family proud. 'What have I achieved?' I asked myself a week before you arrived; causing an avalanche of meltdowns, panic attacks and a whole lot of tear-stained pyjama sleeves. While loved ones tried to console me, I couldn't be consoled. Your arrival wasn't to be as happy an occasion as what it usually was and so a smile went on with the layers of makeup, and I grinned and bore it through my birthday tea. I did have a better time than I thought, though when I returned home so too did the thoughts of turning twenty. 

Looking back your arrival was hard; just like a lot of moments from your year. I had to drop a lot of uni work because my body wasn't up to it, I had to flake on friends an endless amount of times, I had to miss out on spending a lot of quality time with my mom at the beach hut and I had to deal with the reoccurring fact of how weak my body has become; a realisation that hit me harder every time I saw it. 

Having said this, I've also never felt more me. I've never felt so in sync with my body. It's almost as though I've deciphered how it works and while that doesn't take the pain, exhaustion or suffering away; it does make it slightly easier to handle. I've also learnt the power of self-care is immensely important in my weekly routine. It's of great importance, to everyone I think, to stop and take a moment to yourself. Whether that be listening to a podcast, applying a face mask or nail polish or even just taking the dog for a walk and watching the world go by in the process. 

So yes, I wasn't looking forward to you, the year of twenty, and while I'm happy and ready to say goodbye to you I'm grateful for all you taught me -even if your lessons were tough at times. 

Cheerio twenty! 
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Reflections

I know, I'm back.

For awhile now I have wanted to get back into a posting schedule. I had hoped to get some things together over Christmas though my body thought otherwise. Over the festive period, there was an obvious strain on my health that could not be disguised. Any type of writing or work was put on pause and I was forced to hibernate in a fort of blankets, pillows and hot water bottles until I was eventually able to start introducing work again. As times gone on I have slowly been able to get back into a work schedule and now I am trying to get back into a posting schedule. 

So, what now? Well… 

I have been able to take a few photos here and there, which I have been able to form a few posts from so hopefully they will be up soon. I also have a couple of beauty posts lined up -something I never thought would be on my website, beauty posts! But needless to say, I am super excited to share my recent beauty finds. 

As well as beauty I have some book reviews coming here soon, as well as some lifestyle posts. And let us not forget the hut series, which I cannot wait for. There are 52 days until the hut gets put back on the bay and the summer season officially starts again! 

There is also something that I have been dabbling with the idea of -outfit posts. I’m typically not someone who doesn’t do well in front of the camera, but I have to admit I love reading these types of posts and kinda wanna see what it is like to put ones of those bad boys together. I find outfit posts to be really interesting, not only seeing someone's personal style but also seeing it on someone who isn’t walking down a runway and making me feel like I need to join my local weight watchers club. Not only that but I also think it would be a great starting off point for the S Project. 

So that is where we are right now. I’m not entirely sure what post will be the next one up but fear not, it won’t be too long till I’m back. Oh, and these photos are just little something, something I did whilst awake at four in the morning. I never realised how my beach hut fairy lights gave off such pretty reflections on my wall. 

Cheerio for now! 

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Life Update: Health and Happiness

The past few weeks have set the scene for a few highs and lows that come with every chronic illness. Though I'd like to think the highs have made the lows worth their while. In the midst of these obstacles I've found myself in a little bit of a -I'm not entirely sure what exactly to call it, so lets go with- funk, but not in a bad way.

These past few months I've been making a few changes here and there, hoping to grow and expand in new and exciting ways. The biggest changes of all would be those I'm applying to my personal life i.e. my health. Ive been trying to detoxify my body and start afresh, getting myself into healthy habits which I'm already seeing the amazing changes before my very eyes. Changes like my dietary needs, as well as toiletries and health care.

I've also been questioning this little space i have here, wondering and thinking about whether its time to make a few changes here also. Though theres only a small band of you guys out there, I really want to kick it up a notch and customise this space a bit more to my liking; especially incorporating and reflecting my new personal changes to this space also. After all, it is my little corner of the internet. Ultimately my health comes first, and that's really the area I need to work on the most right now. Without your health your nothing, as my mother says -hi mom!

So, I guess that was all really. I just wanted to catch you up to speed, especially as I've pulled a bit of a halt on The Hut series. I do have a few more posts I was working on, based around our hut sessions though I'm not entirely satisfied with them just yet so you may see them, you may not. Who knows at this point. I'm a little all over the shop right now!

Cheerio for now! 

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Life Update: Half Time

It’s half time! Wow -I can’t believe how quickly this year is going. This past month has been pretty zen since I finished my first year of uni at the end of May. I have yet to receive my results, which I am slightly nervous about, though I’m just choosing to enjoy the summer season and beautiful weather; which of course is a rarity here in Britain! 

I’m not sure what is in store for this summer, apart from trips to the beach, some serious downtime as well as blissfully making my way through my reading list; which has grown to the height of a skyscraper since last October. I’m also really enjoying spotify playlists right now, especially the ones based around moods. Theres nothing better then discovering new tunes which you instantly fall in love with. Thanks to spotify, I have discovered bronze radio return which i’m loving. My favourite tunes so far are wonder no more, broken ocean and further on. 

I’m also becoming slightly obsessed with etsy, which is making my mac become full of bookmarks for all the neat finds I really wanna buy but I haven’t quite got that money tree planted in the back yard just yet #studentproblems 

What do you have planned for your summer? 

Cheerio for now! 

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