Studies | 16

I have been studying with the Open University since October 2014. This year I am studying module A215 Creative Writing, which will be my third year with the OU and my third module towards an open degree. Due to my health, I am a part-time student which means it will take twice as long as a full-time student but I will get there eventually. 

The A215 Creative Writing module was actually the module which attracted me toward studying with the Open University so in many ways my first two years of study weren't just towards my degree but they were almost stepping stones to get to this module. The module is divided into five sections with it covering the creative process, writing fiction, poetry, life writing, and the final section is centered around going public with your writing. 

So far I have really enjoyed the module, and feel my writing has really improved in the short time I have been studying and practising certain techniques. I think a lot of people have this notion that writing is easy; that you sit, pour out a couple of sentences and then simply string them together. It doesn't work quite like that. There is a lot that goes into it behind the scenes; such as freewriting, clustering, character creation, developing your style and voice, etc. 

While I have really enjoyed the module so far, that's not to say that it has come without its' difficulties. Through the writing process I have noticed that writing is subjective, and while I may think it is perfect at that moment in time I may go back to it a few days later and be appalled at myself for not picking up on certain mistakes or decide that I dislike the entire piece. Writing is something that happens within a moment in time and when you return, you may not necessarily like what you read. Another thing I have noticed is I make a lot of silly/simple mistakes like mistyping/writing words (using the wrong words, leaving out words, etc) and so reading aloud has become my best friend; which is also a great tool for testing punctuation and sentence lengths. 

I have really enjoyed this academic year so far. I can't wait to look back to compare my first few pieces of work with my last few pieces when I complete this module. 

What do/did you study? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Physical Photographs

I love photos. They never change, even when the people inside them do. They just stay frozen with the characters stuck in time. 

As much as technology is great these days (-borderline 'scary-great') I miss the beauty of physical photographs. As a child, I remember my mom collecting film reels to take to the local photo shop to have developed. Weeks later we would go back and she'd come back to the car with stacks of photo packets. She'd spend so many evenings sorting them into photo albums and writing notes on the back about the occasion within the photo. What do we do now? We post them to facebook or Instagram, get some likes and comments and then that's it, they are forgotten forever. *sad

In 2015, I got a polaroid camera and fell back in love with physical photographs. Sure the quality isn't as defined but it is still a nostalgic luxury to hold your photographs -instantly, might I add. This process has spurred me to make an effort to print out my photographs and organise my own photo albums. Something to look back on, just like my mom is able to do. 

When was the last time you got your photos printed off? 

Cheerio for now! 

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On The Radar: Colouring Craze

For around a year now there seems to have been a serious trend going with colouring books. Suddenly they were everywhere. I've always seen mindfulness colouring books but instead of patterns, there's now all sorts going around. Vogue ones for fashionistas, Shakespeare and Alice in wonderland ones for the bookworms, even city and destination ones for those with the travel bug.

For Christmas, I received a couple of Alice ones and since then I've collected a few vintage ones too. I love the illustrations in the vintage ones, the old-school sweets, toys, teacups -urgh they make my heart burst a little. 

These books are great for a lazy Sunday, to get carried away with after a stressful day or even for something to do on a flight or train journey! There's something so therapeutic and blissful about zoning out of reality and getting lost in an illustrated world of colouring for awhile. 

Have you got any Colouring books? Which is your favourite? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Book Review: The Crossroads of Should and Must

Find and follow your passion 

The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna had been on my Amazon wishlist for quite some time before I received it last Christmas. After months of hearing and reading such amazing reviews of the book I couldn't wait to get my hands on it and so, as you could imagine, I was over the moon when I unwrapped it. I devoured it in the next three days, whilst staying at my grandparents for the holiday. I just couldn't put it down, it was even better than I'd imagined.

Wrote in the first person by Elle Luna herself, she takes us through her own experience of wanting to pursue art and finding her own dream space to make it happen. She tells of the differences between 'Should' and 'Must', why these are different to one another and how to figure out which you are living to in your own life. 'Should' revolve's around, well around things people feel they should be doing; ie. going to university or college to get qualifications. On the other hand, the things you feel compelled and drawn to are the 'Musts' in your life. 'Must' is the thing that is so rooted in your being that if you didn't fulfil it, you would feel a little lost or out of sync with yourself. For me, this space is a big part of my 'Must'. I feel the need to write. Whether it's an account of a day out, thoughts on an issue or even just passing on the love of a book -I feel the constant need to write and produce something (even if that means no one is watching or listening on the other end).
extract:

If you believe that you have something special inside of you, and you feel it's about time you gave it a shot, honour that calling in some way - today. If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between your dreams and your daily reality, do one thing to tighten your grip on what you want - today. If you've been peering down the road to must but can't quite make the choice, dig a little deeper and find out what's stopping you - today. Because there is a recurring choice in life and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. 

Elle uses not only her own experiences within the book but also others stories of their own crossroads and how they made those steps towards their own 'Musts'. She uses quote, tips, illustrations, pictures and even activities throughout to help the reader come to the conclusion of their own 'should & must' and where to go from there. One of my favourite activities was the obituary one -sounds a little ominous, but bear with me- where she says to write what you want your obituary to say, how do you want to be remembered and what you did with your life. She then gets you to write your obituary following how your life is now, what are you doing and what it will inevitably say if you were to follow your 'should'. The difference is often startling and a real eye-opener when you compare and contrast.

From my own experience and the profound effect the book has had on me, I feel confident in my recommendation of this book to everyone -I quite literally want to talk about the book to everyone I see, much to their disappointment of my choice of conversation. The book as a whole has reiterated my passions and what I want to be doing with my life, regardless of what I 'should' be doing and what is expected from me, from general society. It's encouraged me to follow my heart and give it my all.

Favourite quote:

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who come alive -Howard Thurman, philosopher 

Have you read this book -what did you think? (let me know below) 

Cheerio for now!
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Mood board: Alice Through the Looking Glass

With Alice Through the looking glass being released in cinemas on the 27th, Alice is everywhere -and I mean, everywhere! Irregular choice released their shoe collection back in February, urban decay releasing their eye palette and lipsticks a few weeks back, OPI with their nail polish collection centred around the film and even Charlotte Olympias gorgeous collection of clutches, bags and clothing -it's everywhere, which I love!

As the Alice aficionado that I am, I took it upon myself to put a little something together so that all the amazing Alice-ness could be plopped in one place... enjoy!

What are your favourite pieces? 

-I'm in love with those green flats, you may even catch a closer glimpse soon*

Cheerio for now! 

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Life Update: Health and Happiness

The past few weeks have set the scene for a few highs and lows that come with every chronic illness. Though I'd like to think the highs have made the lows worth their while. In the midst of these obstacles I've found myself in a little bit of a -I'm not entirely sure what exactly to call it, so lets go with- funk, but not in a bad way.

These past few months I've been making a few changes here and there, hoping to grow and expand in new and exciting ways. The biggest changes of all would be those I'm applying to my personal life i.e. my health. Ive been trying to detoxify my body and start afresh, getting myself into healthy habits which I'm already seeing the amazing changes before my very eyes. Changes like my dietary needs, as well as toiletries and health care.

I've also been questioning this little space i have here, wondering and thinking about whether its time to make a few changes here also. Though theres only a small band of you guys out there, I really want to kick it up a notch and customise this space a bit more to my liking; especially incorporating and reflecting my new personal changes to this space also. After all, it is my little corner of the internet. Ultimately my health comes first, and that's really the area I need to work on the most right now. Without your health your nothing, as my mother says -hi mom!

So, I guess that was all really. I just wanted to catch you up to speed, especially as I've pulled a bit of a halt on The Hut series. I do have a few more posts I was working on, based around our hut sessions though I'm not entirely satisfied with them just yet so you may see them, you may not. Who knows at this point. I'm a little all over the shop right now!

Cheerio for now! 

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Life Update: White Noise

Where have I been?

Well, this past (academic) year I have been a first year student with the OU, needlessly studying towards my degree from home. Of course I am only a part time student and most of time it's a case of studying from bed but at least I'm able to study! The past year has been a huge learning curve for me, not only in getting back into a learning environment but also in terms of my health and listening to my body; which is crucial for anyone, regardless of their health status!

I think because I am now back in education, many assume that I'm better and have suddenly been cured; however this couldn't be further from the truth. Looking back at this past year, in terms of my health has been the worst year to start a degree, but these things can't be predicted. Not only that but I haven't been in education for five years, so getting back into has been quite a transition; especially as I'm not the healthy person I once was and I can't push my body to such extremes as I used to. Going back into education has been a huge 'trial & error period'. I've had to readjust my study patterns according to my health, my (now useless) memory as well as my nocturnal body clock, urghh.

So that's why I haven't been around so much on here -any posts have been those scheduled in advance in light of the past month of numerous assignments and finals I've had to get through for the end of my module. The past few weeks have been utterly draining so it will probably take quite some time to get back to my usual self but hopefully once I'm there I will be able to post more -and hopefully get up to date on my bloglovin' feed, which has reached a staggering 170 posts! Did someone say summer reading?

Hope you are all well,
Cheerio for now!

When it rains, it pours

when it rains, it pours

this is a perfect phrase to fit explaining a flare. as a severe sufferer of multiple chronic illness' I'm faced with the dilemmas of everyday life and how they may effect me in the long run. on one hand I have to pace myself and only use my designated spoons for that day otherwise I run the risk of borrowing spoons from future days, flaking out and causing a flare. a flare is something I, and many other spoonies, generally refer to as a

huge unwanted speed bump in life, which resembles more of Mount Everest than an actual everyday speed bump

sometimes a flare is a result of borrowing spoons and ultimately flaking out, but sometimes it can also pop up out of nowhere, and for no cause at all. It makes everything a thousand times harder and more of a struggle than what it usually is. Any Spoonie will know how hard everyday life is anyway but with a flare it's like trying to save yourself from being immersed in sinking mud, yet you have weights & chains pulling you down. Which I, myself, feel like I'm going through now.

Let me give you a run down of a normal weekend outing, after spending the entire week laid up in bed or on the sofa.

You see on a Sunday I may go to lakeside, a regional shopping centre about a twenty minute drive from where I live, with my mom and nan. we usually get there, and park in the mobility car park which has it's own entrance to Debenhams. once we get in my nan will need a coffee and something to eat so we'll go upstairs into Debenhams own café. the café is so noisy for me. first of all there's the background music which consists of a mixtape/podcast stuck on loop. It includes pieces of music, offers and competitions going on in store, and audio adverts for brands and designers they endorse in store. they have this at an average volume until it's drowned out and the store tannoy goes on full volume to let someone know they've lost their kid and let them know where to claim them (I have hyper sensitivities, which include sound so it's more like sitting in a gig than a café). than there's the 'clanky' sound of plates; cutlery, cups & saucers being picked up and put down. there's people chit-chatting, the chick in the corner having a "no you hang up first" argument on her phone, the old deaf couple across the way shouting their conversation to one another for the whole world to hear and than there's the small boy throwing a screaming tantrum as his parents sit oblivious to the show their son is throwing. all of this has gone on, nearly all my valuable spoons have disappeared into thin air and my nan hasn't even brought over our tray of drinks let alone the fact we haven't even waited or had our food yet. so by the time we're done in the café we need to hop back in the car to get home so I can hibernate after being out for a maximum of thirty minutes.

so with that in mind you can see how the littlest things can all add up and cause a right storm for a spoonies body -into a flare of all flares. and so the brick wall comes crushing down on me and your left in a heap on the floor reassembling the bricks in order to get back to how it was. when it rains it pours.

Cheerio for now! 

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April Showers

So as many know, British weather is notoriously fickle all year round. We can have snow showers in March and blazing sun in November. It makes it pretty difficult to dress or be prepared for spur-of-the-moment weather changes and so, we find ourselves packing multiple items in our handbag; on standby for those desperate moments of need. 

As we’ve drawn closer and closer to April, i’ve noticed that a lot of shops are getting umbrellas in stock; in a variety of shapes, sizes and colours. Of course, April is known for the saying “April showers, bring May flowers”, and when i think of April i can’t help but think of Umbrella’s, Rain macs and wellington boots. -As well as this number from Glee… 

With all this in mind, i got a little carried away on polyvore and composed this little piece; instilled with all things that make me think of this April Showers quote, as well as a few bits i can’t live without when venturing out on a rainy day. Enjoy 

Rain Mac, Umbrella, Rain Bonnet, Hairspray,  Clinique Moisture Surge, Lip Balm, YSL Babydoll Mascara, Marc Jacobs Daisy, Deslick Mattifying Powder, Rain Hat, Yellow Rose Umbrella, Satchel, Wellington Boots

What comes to mind when you think of April? 

Cheerio for now! 

First Quarter: Summary

Is it just me or has this first quarter of the year just flown by? 

I feel like it was only yesterday that i was complaining to my mom about my January blues. 

So, what have i been up to in this first quarter of the year? 

Well, i’ve mainly been hibernating under a vast array of books, notepads and stray pieces of people trying to stay up-to-date with my studies and get to grips with my last few assignments of the year. I’ve also had some exciting developments in my home life, one being in the form of a wet-room. Now to any other human being a wet room probably seems like nothing to get excited over; but as someone who has had to rely solely on a carer not only to care, dress and feed myself, but also to wash myself too this is pretty exciting news. It will not only make the whole bathroom/washing scenario a lot easier but also much more safe, and it will enable me to be able to have a few moments to myself and regain a bit of my independence back; which literally makes my heart burst with joy! 

The first time using that wet room was the most glorious moment ever! -I get that probably sounds so ridiculous to a healthy person but when your health has been taken from you in so many ways, it can be pretty soul destroying accepting that you can’t do simple things on your own anymore, like wash your own hair. And in a way, having to have someone else do these things for you, you kind of lose a piece of your dignity and pride within the process. 

The other exciting development is, well to be revealed another day. I know that once i start talking about it i won’t be able to stop! All i can really say is all will be revealed soon and i hope you like the beach because my posts from April will probably revolve around just that. 

How has this first quarter treated you? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Thunderstorms

I love thunderstorms. Sometimes nature can't even handle the pressure. Sometimes the sky just needs to explode.

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Where have I been?

I haven’t been on my Instagram account for around six or seven weeks -well thats a lie. I have been on it. I’ve been on there in brief, rare moments here and there. Checking up on friends, family members and some fellow spoonie pals. But i haven’t actually been on there and uploaded anything. Why? 

Well, I guess you could say I've been on a serious, and unintentional, 'Instagram & Twitter cleanse'. Sure, I've broken this cleanse every now and then, but nevertheless this cleanse has still been on-going, and as i write this now -it’s still ongoing. I don't know how this cleanse happened, but all a sudden I didn’t feel the need to use it or even feel like logging in. Lately, I've been feeling a little blue and slightly under the weather; as well as feeling bombarded by the number of things and sudden shifts going on in my life right now. It's all been a little overwhelming. 

As a result of all these changes, the spare few moments that I've had free to myself have been, what can only be explained as, a god-send; for me not only to recharge in my solitude but also spend on studying towards my last assignments and exams of the year. Because of this I haven't been on Instagram or Twitter much at all. I've had a browse through Instagram every now and then, and seen a few posts of some Spoonie pals but other then that nothing. I have to admit having that time away from social media came at just the right time and was precisely what I needed to recharge and refocus. I never thought what a difference social media made to my life. 

It was only last week, when I received a worried message from a Spoonie pal, asking if I was okay, that I thought maybe I should raise a flag or some smoke signals to let everyone know I'm alright and haven’t dropped off the face of the earth. All in all, this cleanse was probably the best thing for me, in this present time. I’ve had the time to myself, to grow and refocus on certain areas of my life which definitely needed a little extra attention. 

Ever had an insta-cleanse? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Big ol' strongens

I like trees. Big old trees. The ones that look like they've lived through all the hardships in life yet there still standing there, stronger than ever -Unknown.

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your health's, your wealth

Your nothing without your health

I completely agree with the saying above. My mom always said it to me when I first became ill. I think it was her way of reminding me that I'm not invincible, that I really do have to listen to my body and that there are repercussions for my actions. Without your health you are nothing. Your body is something that you have to take care off. Its not something you can take back to the store and exchange for another. But ultimately I've learnt through my chronic illness that yes of course your nothing without your health but your nothing without your family. Your family, friends; your nothing without them. They are your tribal community in which support and nurture you through anything you face. And as you journey through the good, the bad, and the ugly that life throws at you; you discover who are members of your tribe.

Cheerio for now!