Autumn | 17

Honestly? Autumn has sucked. And those three words right there, they suck! 

Autumn is usually the greatest time of the year for me. It's my favourite. Halloween, Bonfire nights, the lead up to Christmas -which let's face it, is sometimes better than Christmas day itself! Halloween has always been my favourite time of the year. The world becomes a blur of orange, purple and green, and finding the perfect shaped pumpkin is a never-ending mission. (During my nocturnal years, I remember my mom and I driving to Asda at two in the morning to rifle through there pumpkin stand. That is how committed we are to Halloween). But this Autumn hasn't been that for me.

It started in a great way. I was three weeks ahead of my uni schedule and packing my bag to go away on a birthday trip with my boyfriend. I had my heart set on eating black-jack icecream (yes it's a thing), wandering around Whitby, and hopefully climbing up the steps to Whitby Abbey. A couple days before I turned twenty-two, I got my nose pierced; something I have always wanted to do but never actually gone through with it. So, I was on a high. And then I got a phone call, on our last day away. It was my mom telling me that my dog, Myles, his tumour was bigger than the vet originally thought and they presumed it was down to the bone. The vet suggested amputations and MRI's but ultimately I knew what this meant. Four weeks before this phone call, I had surgery and while I was recovering my mom told me that if it came to it (because Myles had a lump) she would rather put him to rest then have him chopped to pieces and sewn back up in the hope that we'd solve the problem. I knew that, even though amputation was an option for the vet, it wasn't for our family and suddenly this ticking clock started in my mind. I found myself mentally predicting how much time I had left with him.

As soon as I was home, I tried to spend as much time as possible with him (he was staying with my grandparents). His lump was now infected and painful for him to stand on. He started hopping around and refraining from putting any weight on it at all. With this strain on his body, he started panting all the time and I knew he was becoming tired. We knew it was a matter of time and I'd come to terms with that idea, but it didn't prepare me to see him physically decline. In his last few days, he stopped getting up to greet you when you arrived and he only got up when he knew he needed to go outside to relieve himself or when he knew he was being fed. He still wagged his tail when you spoke to him, and if anything I enjoyed those last few conversations we had more then anything else. The day he was put down was the worst day ever, and quite honestly a bit of a blur. So, my Autumn wasn't great. I lost my best friend, and had my heartbroken in the process. Regardless of all of this, I've still found comfort in a few things...

Seasonal Favourites

I was lucky enough to be able to attend two bonfire nights during October and November, one of which having the best food I have ever experienced. We also got to play with sparklers, sky lanterns, and even some fireworks (that sounds quite reckless but it was with friends, and we're responsible. Or at least, most of us are). I have also been enjoying preparing for Christmas. As I write this now, I have just received an online order of gift wrap *squeals. This, in all honesty, is what has kept me going during losing Myles and I've tried to look forward and keep going as much as possible. 

Listening: 

I've been listening to podcasts, as usual, but have absolutely loved Estée LaLonde podcast called, The Heart of it. I loved all the episodes, however, the one featuring the topic of Strength sung to my heart a bit more than any of the others. I think as someone who has suffered from severe depression in the past, a lot of what was being said really resonated with me: plus I listened to this episode at a time when I wasn't feel all that strong myself, which I think makes that episode stick out in my mind that little bit more. 

Watching: 

Okay so I'm totally late to the party with both these things but this season I have watched, wait for it... Stranger Things and Game of Thrones. No, nothing is wrong with me but in all honesty, when each of these programmes/new series' came out I really weren't bothered in the slightest about watching them. Now, having watched them, I can see what the fuss is about. Stranger Things was amazing and addictive. When I have my own house I'm definitely stringing lights all round it like Joyce Byers -you have to admit, those lights looked magical. I also loved the clothes they wore and I'm currently trying to resist a Borg corduroy jacket from ASOS, exactly like the one Nancy wears. 

Game of Thrones was unexpected but expected at the same time. I've seen snippets of it here and there, so I knew there was a lot of violence but I weren't quite prepared for the nudity involved: which, I wouldn't say I'm a prude but come on -theres a time and a place people! Regardless of this, I have really enjoyed it. I'm currently finishing up the third season. 

Looking forward to: 

Christmas and New Year. I've always enjoyed the lead up to Christmas a little bit more than Christmas day itself however, this year there's much more going on for Christmas. I think I have five days in a row of solid plans which, although it'll be exhausting, I'm also so excited for. I also have plans for New Year to which is the first in around 10 years, I'm so excited!

What have you enjoyed from Autumn? 

Cheerio for now! 
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Photography: James Coleman 

Christmas Traditions

Everyone has certain Christmas traditions that they look forward to each year, my family definitely have more than a few we uphold each year. This year things have changed slightly, we now have a bigger family, I have a boyfriend -and generally speaking, when there are more folks in the family it's a little trickier to keep everyone happy. Regardless of these changes, there are a few things we'll still be able to uphold which I'd like to share here. 

Decorations

Pretty basic in any household but in our household as soon as the clock strikes midnight on the 31st of October -it's Christmas! We typically get our decorations out mid November and my mom goes through the excruciating process of deciding what colour scheme or theme she wants for that year -and it takes quite some time. I always have a two foot tree in my room, which I put multi-coloured decorations on it which I have had since I was a baby. This year, as I'm staying at my boyfriends on Christmas eve I managed to talk him into having a small Christmas tree in his room too -you can't wake up on Christmas day without a tree! 

Shortbread & Tea Evenings 

One that is a bit indulgent, and definitely hasn't helped our figures over the years is our Shortbread & Tea evenings. Obviously, Christmas can be a really stressful time and it can be all too easy to get swept up trying to do Christmas shopping and tie up loose ends at work so my mom and I have a little ritual we do each year. It's not a daily thing but something we find ourselves doing each December. In the evening we'll chill on the sofa's, catching up with a cuppa and a tin of traditional Scottish shortbread from M&S... yes, dunking is involved. I know it's such a simple one, but it's so lovely winding down in the evening without getting carried away watching youtube or overdoing it with work or studying. Just simply eat, slurp, and chill. 

Christmas Eve 

Now this is one that has slightly changed over the years. When I was younger, we would wake up before the crack of dawn and head into London. We would queue outside Harrods for opening time to go see Santa. We'd be given cookies and their'd be entertainers while we waited. After we'd seen him we would then go to the Christmas shop and just generally have a mooch around. We'd also have a MaccyD's breakfast afterwards (when I say afterwards, this would usually be around 8 o'clock in the morning). But regardless of the early start and how tired I would be come mid-day, those Christmas Eve's at Harrods were magical! And probably one of the few traditions my mom continued after my parents divorced. 

These days it has changed slightly. As much as my mother would still love to drag me to Santa Claus (if she could) we obviously no longer do that. Instead, we find out what time M&S opens at our local shopping centre, wait at the doors with our trolley, and then bundle in as soon as the doors are open. We get profiteroles for my mom (she always gets two pyramids -and eats both of them) and then we get Salmon for my nan. Yes, we could get these from anywhere but theres a second part to our tradition. After getting our bits and bobs, we head on up to the cafe at M&S and have breakfast with my nan before the hectic-ness of Christmas Eve. This is especially nice if it falls on a weekday and my nan has to then go to work. 

Boxing Day 

Again, boxing day has changed over the years but the past few years we have made a new tradition. We all fall into the car and drive to the coast. We have a wander around and soak up the sea air before heading to the ice cream parlour or finding a tea room. After such rich and heavy food on Christmas Day, it's nice just getting out for some fresh air and not really having to hold yourself to a timescale to see everyone and go everywhere like you usually have to do with Christmas day. Sometimes we even take some leftovers or make some light sandwich to snack on while we're out and about. 

So those are just a few of my family's traditions, what are yours? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Tropic | In The Best Hands

In The Best Hands Collection 

From the many posts I have produced about Tropic products, it's pretty evident that it is my favourite brand -I just love their products! If you don't know who Tropic are or what their brand is about, head on over here and have a quick read about them before continuing this post. On to the product...

I noticed this hand collection some time ago and was eager to get my hands on it, but with moving and life in general it just was put on the back burner and forgotten about until my birthday. I knew I wanted to try it and there was nothing I really wanted or needed for my birthday so I directed a lot of people to my wantfeed page (where this little gem of a collection was residing). My boyfriend gifted me this collection for my birthday ...but he didn't know what it was or who Tropic were. It's quite amusing to receive a gift from someone and then have them ask what it is once you've opened it. 

Anyways, Tropic In the Best Hands collection is a bedtime ritual to achieve softer hands overnight. It contains a Hand Smooth Revitalising Polish, Soft Touch Intensive Hand Mask, and Bamboo Gloves. 

Hand Smooth Revitalising Polish 

The hand smooth is an exfoliating polish which, I'm not going to lie, is quite gritty at first touch but once you start massaging it against the skin and then start rinsing it off, it melts into the most beautifully silky texture on your hands. 

To use: simply massage onto rough or dry hands, and then rinse with warm water. My personal advice would be not to go too hot with the water but just a luke warm to rinse it off nicely. 

Soft Touch Intensive Hand Mask 

This hand mask is super rich in its formulation and incredibly moisturising. I was apprehensive about the word 'Intensive' being used in the title and I did wonder whether the product would live up to that title but it did that and more. 

To use: Once you've dried your hands from the rinsing of the revitalising polish, apply a generous layer working it into every rough patch on your hands and then whip your bamboo gloves on and leave them overnight to let your hands soak up all the goodness of the mask. (Side note: I have done this process throughout the day, going through the steps and leaving the gloves on while I study). 

I had been suffering from insanely dry hands during October and November (I think from the temperature change and having to have a heater on in my room) so this hand collection has come in so handy and really been a god send for me. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who suffers from dry or rough hands, or anyone who just loves giving their skin a little TLC. Also, before I forget, the website says this product is limited edition so if you do want to give it a go, I'd suggest getting your hands on it sooner rather than later. 

Have you ever tried this product? What did you think? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Inspire Me Lately

*side note: I wrote this post two months ago and totally forgot to post it: but I suppose it's better late than never! 

There's been a lot of things inspiring me lately, here are a few of them...

• This video from Jenn at Clothes Encounters. In this video, she recreated looks inspired by famous works of art. I absolutely love this video and the way it mixes art with fashion and almost and quirky, fancy dress element. I also love that she discusses each painting and a little bit about its' background -as someone who has studied art history, I really appreciated that. 

• I have listened to The Ladygang podcast on and off for just under a year now. I find that I'll go ages without checking out my podcasts and then suddenly binge-listening to them all in a couple of days. When this happens I find that I love one or two episodes way more than the others. This time it was the Whitney Port episode and the Ru Paul one. Now as someone who has the box set for the Hills and the City -I loved the episode with Whitney Port, but the episode with Ru Paul was just on a whole other level of inspiring. His words and life views were beyond enlightening for me, and I think I listened to this episode at a point when I truly needed it. One motto that he mentioned which I absolutely fell in love with was 'Unless they paying your bills, pay them bees no mind' -which I mean, is just perfect for me to keep in mind. I'm someone who gets too paranoid about what people think or how they'll perceive what I do when in reality it doesn't really matter all that much at all. 

• I love this video from Violette at violette_fr. I love the way she chooses a different location for each of her videos and her looks appear so polished and well curated. The shots and camera work seems so natural and effortless while being true to the theme of the video. I also really enjoyed this video she produced a while back. 

• I have also been loving the Youtube videos by Broadly lately. In particular there ones about Coco and Life as a fairytale princess. I absolutely loved the video about Coco. Although it feels quite bizarre for a six-year-old to be able to work Instagram, it is also lovely to see a child be so uniquely themselves without feeling judged or as though they need to follow the crowd. I feel as though Broadly's videos do not sugar coat topics; they take you behind the scenes and show you the nitty-gritty details of things. For instance, their videos on Bulgaria's Bride market and the most powerful witches in Romania were so informative but also truthful and respectful of the culture of the subject. I really enjoy their videos and would recommend to anyone who wants to watch something a little more informative or in more of documentary style. 

• And last, but by no means least, is Paloma's get ready video featured on Glossier's youtube channel. I've been following Paloma on Instagram for some time now and as a fellow curvy woman, I find her so inspiring. I'd say coming across her instagram and other curvy models and activists, and seeing how at home they are with their own bodies have definitely made me feel a lot more at home in my own body. 

Cheerio for now!

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What's In My Bag | Matt & Nat

This is such a classic lifestyle post, which I do usually steer clear from but to be honest I love posts like this. I think there's something quite interesting in seeing what people carry around with them so why not do my own post. 

First of all my bag is the Vignelli bag by the brand Matt & Nat, a Canadian brand which specialises in handbags made from vegan leather and recyclable goods (post to come on this brand, they are amazing!). I received this last Christmas, which was a total surprise because it is a very pricey bag at £125, but seen as I have used it every day ever since I think it was money well spent and the best present ever! I'd had my eye on the bag for over a year before I received it and I think it was pretty popular because whenever I managed to save the money to buy it (didn't happen often) it just so happened to be out of stock. It comes in a variety of colours but I have it in the classic black. It has adjustable straps, a phone pocket inside, a small zip compartment inside, and a zipper pocket on the outside too. I absolutely love the outer zip pocket feature on this bag. It's so ideal having this pocket there for security but also so you don't have to rifle through the entire bag to find anything like your keys or phone. Anyway, I've rambled enough about the bag so onto what I keep inside.

Purse 2x: I have two purses. One for cards and notes, and one for loose change. This seems bizarre to some but the purse I keep my cards and notes in is a red vintage leather purse which is a hand-me-down from my nan. It was handed down to her by her aunt and so there's a family tie to that which I just can't let go of. Not only that but it's the ideal purse for me. The reason I have a purse for change is that I'm so conscious of breaking or damaging my red purse (I know, I'm ridiculous but I really love it and would hate for it to break). The change purse is just a simple coin pouch which is made out of a black sturdy material.
Keys: Pretty obvious but you can't get anywhere without them.
Phone: This is usually in my hand or pocket, although I do often slip it in the outer zip section too.
Sunglasses: It doesn't matter what time of the year it is, they are always in my bag. I'm a vampire, I need those bad boys to avoid the sun!
Lip Balm x2: I currently have two balms in my bag. This one by Forever, and this one by Winky Lux.
Tablet box: for my the many supplements I am currently on.

Compact mirror: I have a models own one.

Medical Cards: I have an orange card from my local council which lets people know I am physically disabled. Usually, I am in my wheelchair but if, for whatever reason I am not, this card can let people know I am physically disabled and may need help in certain situations. I also have an ME alert card from the ME association which just alerts people to the fact that I have ME. It also has an emergency contact with it and my doctor's details. 

A pouch full of bits and bobs: This is pretty much the miscellaneous section. In here I keep some blotting papers, an Eye Refresh by Tropic, a vast array of bobby pins and hair bands, a pen, Mackenzie smelling salts, strepsils, a radar key, Hydrocortisone cream, painkillers, tweezers, solid perfume, mints, earplugs, and a fidget spinner (because everyone in 2017 joined the fidget spinner phase at some point). 

Snack: I also keep some cashew nuts or some sort of biscuit within my bag in case I need to eat before taking my medications. I also tend to get hangry. 

So that is everything I keep in my bag. Of course, every so often I do accumulate some receipts in the pit of my bag or slip a book in there but for the most part, everything listed above is what lives inside my bag. 

What's the weirdest thing you keep in your bag? 

Cheerio for now! 

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Photography: James Coleman