Tuesday, 31 March 2015

First Quarter: Summary

Is it just me or has this first quarter of the year just flown by? 
I feel like it was only yesterday that i was complaining to my mom about my January blues. 

So, what have i been up to in this first quarter of the year? 
Well, i’ve mainly been hibernating under a vast array of books, notepads and stray pieces of people trying to stay up-to-date with my studies and get to grips with my last few assignments of the year. I’ve also had some exciting developments in my home life, one being in the form of a wet-room. Now to any other human being a wet room probably seems like nothing to get excited over; but as someone who has had to rely solely on a carer not only to care, dress and feed myself, but also to wash myself too this is pretty exciting news. It will not only make the whole bathroom/washing scenario a lot easier but also much more safe, and it will enable me to be able to have a few moments to myself and regain a bit of my independence back; which literally makes my heart burst with joy! 
The first time using that wet room was the most glorious moment ever! -I get that probably sounds so ridiculous to a healthy person but when your health has been taken from you in so many ways, it can be pretty soul destroying accepting that you can’t do simple things on your own anymore, like wash your own hair. And in a way, having to have someone else do these things for you, you kind of lose a piece of your dignity and pride within the process. 
The other exciting development is, well to be revealed another day. I know that once i start talking about it i won’t be able to stop! All i can really say is all will be revealed soon and i hope you like the beach because my posts from April will probably revolve around just that. 

How has this first quarter treated you? 
Cheerio for now! 


Monday, 30 March 2015


I love thunderstorms. Sometimes nature can't even handle the pressure. Sometimes the sky just needs to explode.

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Sunday, 29 March 2015

Spring Awakening; A trip to the park

Greenwich Park is one of the Royal parks and is known for being the home of The Royal Observatory, The National Maritime Museum and Old naval College, as well as it’s panoramic views across and beyond the Thames. All that is swell and pretty impressive, but what i love most is its spacious greenland playing host to nature and mother earth of all shapes and sizes. From it’s colourful flower beds to its hundreds of year old ancient trees, to it’s huge family of squirrels and ducks, as well as their deer park. With a number of path and walk ways, the park is accessible for all and is perfect for a day out. 

My favourite time to visit the park is around September-Novemember; it’s so pretty watching the trees surrender to the autumn season; though i must admit after a harsh winter, of both health and studies, i was raring to get out the house and back to that park. I’ve been visiting Greenwich Park since i was a child, and yet overtime i revisit i discover something new. For instance; i just found out that theres a Rose Garden! I’m already mentally planning this next venture there in my mind, who’s in?

We gathered some monkey nuts, bird seeds and a few picnic bits and set off. We arrived to find and quiet, and peacefully still park. With very few around, we delighted in taking a stROLL around, and headed for the duck pond whilst taking in the dawn of the awakening season. Everything looked the same, yet completely different. The trees stood tall, strong; like an elder brother watching over us. The bushes and flowerbeds whispered as the breeze whipped by, waving to us as we walked by. The squirrels somehow familiar, stop and starring, greeting us like old friends as they rushed by. 

We breathed in that last bit of fresh air, from that hilltop before sliding into the car and heading over blackheath back homeward bound. Our first trip of the year had been a success. Recharged and refreshed from the claustrophobic spell winter held over us, we’d been awakened to the new season. A Spring awakening. 

Have you had your spring awakening yet? 
Cheerio for now! 


Wednesday, 25 March 2015

March Musings

This past month -well few months- i've been a little all over the place. I'm in my last block of this (academic) years studies, and can honestly not wait for summer to commence! I've always been an autumn to winter kinda chick, with my heart skipping a beat just at the thought of crisp orange leaves and oversized scarves; though this year theres been a bit of a change and i've found myself lusting over sunday drives in the countryside, pimms in the park and skinny dipping at the seaside. 

As well as my seasonal preferences shifting, i've also found myself leaning to more 'spring-like' bits and bobs, with accents of a more fresher and feminine feel then my usual vibe. I honestly feel more comfortable in dark earthy colours but lately I've been embracing more of the lighter and brighter tones and textures, which ordinarily i would never go for. Here are a few items i've had my eye on... 

What have been your March Musings? Had your eye on anything or had a spring awakening? 
Cheerio for now!


Monday, 23 March 2015

Beauty: Cinderella x MAC

So of course Cinderella is the newest addition of live action movies disney have produced. I, personally love live action movies and have been waiting for more from disney since Alice in Wonderland (2010). In light of this new release, MAC have released a new line of products for the film. 

Now i have to admit i've never been a MAC girl. *moment where every woman gasps in shock and clicks off, totally disgusted*. I'm not sure why this is, i just never really liked MAC all that much. Maybe i didn't inherit the MAC gene like every other girl on the planet? Or maybe it's where i grew up in stage school community and was constantly plastered in heavy stage make up; which as great as it was, sometimes was really irritating especially for my sensitive skin. Nevertheless i've never been a huge fan, until now. 

I was recently talking to a friend, when she mentioned MAC's new makeup line for the Cinderella release. Now i don't know whether i'm a little late on the times with this news, but i was completely surprised by this development and couldn't get my tush over to MAC's website fast enough! All the products seem to have a great write up and report, I mean it's not no kiddy make up! I love the pretty packaging. Out of all the products though, i'm absolutely loving those shades in the stroke before midnight eye palette, think i may have to get my hands on one of them bad boys! 

A fan of MAC? What do you think of this collection? 
Cheerio for now! 


Saturday, 21 March 2015

Where have I been?

I haven’t been on my Instagram account for around six or seven weeks -well thats a lie. I have been on it. I’ve been on there in brief, rare moments here and there. Checking up on friends, family members and some fellow spoonie pals. But i haven’t actually been on there and uploaded anything. Why? 

Well, I guess you could say I've been on a serious, and unintentional, 'Instagram & Twitter cleanse'. Sure, I've broken this cleanse every now and then, but nevertheless this cleanse has still been on-going, and as i write this now -it’s still ongoing. I don't know how this cleanse happened, but all a sudden I didn’t feel the need to use it or even feel like logging in. Lately, I've been feeling a little blue and slightly under the weather; as well as feeling bombarded by the number of things and sudden shifts going on in my life right now. It's all been a little overwhelming. 

As a result of all these changes, the spare few moments that I've had free to myself have been, what can only be explained as, a god-send; for me not only to recharge in my solitude but also spend on studying towards my last assignments and exams of the year. Because of this I haven't been on Instagram or Twitter much at all. I've had a browse through Instagram every now and then, and seen a few posts of some Spoonie pals but other then that nothing. I have to admit having that time away from social media came at just the right time and was precisely what I needed to recharge and refocus. I never thought what a difference social media made to my life. 

It was only last week, when I received a worried message from a Spoonie pal, asking if I was okay, that I thought maybe I should raise a flag or some smoke signals to let everyone know I'm alright and haven’t dropped off the face of the earth. All in all, this cleanse was probably the best thing for me, in this present time. I’ve had the time to myself, to grow and refocus on certain areas of my life which definitely needed a little extra attention. 

Ever had an insta-cleanse? 
Cheerio for now! 

Friday, 20 March 2015

Spring & Easter Picks

Today marks the first day of Spring. Spring, for me, is a bit of an odd duckling. Living in Britain means that the weather is of course notoriously fickle and we never know when or what the weather will do. Spring usually means it starts to get warm, though i can remember a few years back when, here in South East England, we had heavy snow showers and severe weather warnings in April -April! 

Over the past couple of years i’ve got myself into the useful habit of getting into seasonal spirit through seasonal decorations, traditions and of course yummy recipes. This year is no different; so here is my Spring musings moodboard. Lot’s of yellow, bunnies and daffodils. Ofcourse Easter is in Spring and i did include a couple of references -though i was shocked at how little collection of items or objects steered towards the real celebration of Easter. Sort it out Polyvore! 

What makes you think of Spring? 

Stay tuned for some scummy Easter recipes,
Cheerio for now! 

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Big ol' strongens

I like trees. Big old trees. The ones that look like they've lived through all the hardships in life yet there still standing there, stronger than ever -Unknown.


Saturday, 14 March 2015

Book Review: The Five People You Meet In Heaven

The five people you meet in heaven, Mitch Albom.
I remember Joanne Harris once saying "some books you read. Some books you enjoy. But some books just swallow you up heart and soul." This book relates to those words so well and was exactly what it did to me. I remember it being on my suggested list on Amazon and reading such great reviews, but at that time there was other books I was absolutely craving to get my hands on, so I didn't purchase it. A few months after that I got a sample chapter off the iBooks app and was gripped to it, though still, there were other books. It weren't until our trip to Whitstable with my pops that I finally decided to get it. I'd finally decided on four books and was heading for the cashier when I noticed it. Without thinking I grabbed it, and swapped it with one of my books I was already holding. Having now read it, I am so glad I saw it and had that sudden impulse. By the following night I had devoured it, cover to cover.
Albom tells the tale of Eddie the maintenance guy at ruby pier, and how he dies and of course, the five people he meets in heaven. Throughout the book he meets the five people, and his story unravels as he understands how and why his life played out the way that it had. How even though he may have felt he never truly did something or made something of his life, and that he may have felt unimportant a lot of the time, he played a vital role in so many people's lives without ever truly knowing it.
Not just how it's wrote, but the story itself, ideas and themes Mitch Albom brings up are thought-provoking yet mesmerisingly beautiful. This book has had a truly profound effect on myself, and after reading it, I can imagine many others also. I would recommend it to anyone, and can't wait to delve into his other works.
Whenever I read a book I always have a pencil on hand to underline any quotes and sentences I particularly like, or to jot some things down in the margin. I also fold the bottom corner of that page too.
Favourite quote: "There are five people you meet in heaven," the Blue Man suddenly said. "Each of us was in your life for a reason. You may not have known the reason at the time, and that is what heaven is for. For understanding your life on Earth." 
This originally was going to be a collection of reviews from books I'd recently read, but I do have a tendency to over write so I had to rethink things.

Any recommendations? 

Stay tuned for more reviews,
Cheerio for now! 
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a trip to the bookshop

Just after i submitted my first TMA back in November, I decided to take some time away from the books to recharge. I was feeling drained but slightly anxious too, at the thought of getting my results -I thought writing it was bad enough, waiting for the result is ten times worse! With that in mind on the following Sunday we all piled into the car and headed for the coast, to Whitstable. We even managed to drag grandfather along with us, which is a miracle within itself.
It was a chilly day, with the coastal breeze making it that extra bit nippy. Whitstable is a quaint historic town, the road pathed with old stone and tiny shops and businesses lodged here and there down pokey alley ways. It's a beautiful place at any time of the year, but not the most ideal place for a wheelchair user. Because of that we have to park as close as possible to the shops we want to have a look in. Of course the only shop I'm likely to want to go in is the bookshop, which I dragged everyone into.
You know when a dog sees their owner and they get all excited, wag their tail like crazy and jump about -that's what I'm like when I see a bookshop; although as a chronically ill person the jumping around is more spiritual than physical. Whenever I go into the store I head straight for the Classics and start the excruciating process of picking and deciding which books I want, need and which I'll eventually buy. It's a tediously long process much to my families delight, but I eventually narrowed it down to four books -which I must point out is a record for me! By this point my family just agreed to get the books for me and get me out of there before I took up permanent residency. The adrenaline of being able to go in the book shop got a little too much, so I crashed in the car as the rest of the cronies dodged in and out of the rest of the shops.
Our day ended with a nice cruise and guided tour down memory lane from my grandpops -which I must admit was more like being in a jeep on a rally drive; fast drivers and leather seats are not a good mix! We ended up finishing our day with a nice roast -unfortunately I was too exhausted to even get through half of mine- and then headed home, where I flopped into bed, just like every other day. Why break the habit of a lifetime huh?

**i just realised how long this is getting so I shall save my reviews of my bookshop haul for another day.
Cheerio for now!
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Wednesday, 11 March 2015

your health's, your wealth

Your nothing without your health
I completely agree with the saying above. My mom always said it to me when I first became ill. I think it was her way of reminding me that I'm not invincible, that I really do have to listen to my body and that there are repercussions for my actions. Without your health you are nothing. Your body is something that you have to take care off. Its not something you can take back to the store and exchange for another. But ultimately I've learnt through my chronic illness that yes of course your nothing without your health but your nothing without your family. Your family, friends; your nothing without them. They are your tribal community in which support and nurture you through anything you face. And as you journey through the good, the bad, and the ugly that life throws at you; you discover who are members of your tribe.

Cheerio for now! 

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one things for certain. When you come out the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storm's are all about." -Haruki Murakami 

Thursday, 5 March 2015


It was a Tuesday and it was early. Super early. Earlier then what i was used to. Normally when i’m up that early it’s because i haven’t slept at all, but this day was different. I’d had an hour or so nap and had been woken by something or another. I’d had a rough night and felt like crap. 
It’s a rare occasion when i’m awake so early. In light of that we decided to have breakfast out. We took the 20-30 minute car ride to a favourite restaurant of ours, The Carvery. 

I threw a comfy jumper, leggings and my boots on. My hair was a mess; unmanageable and resembled that of a birds nest. The only think possible was to scoop it into a bun and sprits some hairspray on it. You columnist get a brush through it let alone style it into something half decent. I looked in the mirror. Someone starred back blankly. is that me?. It didn’t look like me. In fact if i hadn’t recognised the clothes, i could of sworn it was someone else -a stranger stuck in my bathroom mirror. She was pale and cold, her eyes deep and dark like huge craters lodged in her head. 

Having the rude awaken that my eyes compared that of corpse’ bride, i was persuaded to dab some concealer on. I applied some with the tip of my finger and as quickly as i applied it, it absorbed into my skin without a trace. “Sod it”, i thought to myself. There was no point. I tucked up into my coat and we headed out. 

The weather duplicated me. The sky -a thick blanket of misery. A sheet of cloudy cold weather hovering over me. Both figuratively and literally. Atleast we’re on the same page, i thought. As the engine roared into action we set off through town and onto the motorway. I put my earphones in and tuned out. 

The middle sections of our journey always seems the longest. Not the middle of any journey or route but the middle of this particular route to get to the restaurant. We go past the Sittingbourne junction and it takes forever to get to the next junction, Faversham. Almost as though time stands still and its a never ending cycle that is forced upon us. It’s identical to my health in many ways. A never ending rollercoaster ride. Just when you’ve reached a turning point you realise there’s still a long way to go. 

Precisely 28 minutes later we arrived. Sat and enjoyed a traditional British breakfast. A plate of grease in all its glory, washed down with a brew. As the day went on my belly whined and moaned at all the junk i’d bestowed on it. Maybe it weren’t such a good idea after all. 

After that greasy trip out i reunited with my cosy pyjamas and retired to my bed where i curled up and didn’t plan on moving until i’d sufficiently renewed my energy with enough disney classics’ movies. 

Cheerio for now!

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

A Book Day!

Today’s world book day. It’s the day that all bookworms rejoice in celebrating the magical world of books, in which we reside. The day we can’t wait to come around in hope of recruiting a friend or family member into our world of words. 
I feel like this isn’t a national or international holiday that is typically celebrated throughout the blogosphere as often as other holidays and so i’d thought i’d hop on in and get the World Book Day posts rolling in by mentioning a few of my favourite books. I typically can read most books but of course, i do have a few select favs; which have caught me hook, line and sinker!

So these books are my favourite childhood favourites. i read these when i was about nine or ten, and have loved them ever since. The series overall tells the unfortunate events that unfold after the parents of the Baudelaire orphans perish in a house fire. The series follows them being passed through the hands of various guardians and distant relatives, all of which they’ve never met or heard of; whilst also being shadowed by a character named Count Olaf, who is after their family fortune. 
Personally i have always loved the dark, ominous tone that the writing and storytelling has -because what nine year old doesn’t love a dark tale of the misfortunes of others; i swear i was a totally normal kid! Overall i think the slightly bizarre and eccentric characters captured me most, as well as of course wanting to find out what eventually happened to the Baudelaire orphans.
Plus the whole ‘Lemony Snicket’ persona of the author going on and the cryptic dedications to Beatrice -I mean i still have no idea who this actually is (or based on) and it actually really bothers me. There are so many contributing factors that draw me to these books -but ultimately, i just love it!

I’m currently half way through Lemony Snicket’s new series of ‘all the wrong questions’. Which unfortunately i have had to pause and push to the side in light of upcoming assignments *wipes away glistening tear*. 

Cards on the table; I’m kinda obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. I think we can all agree that Lewis Carroll had a pretty vivid imagination to dream up these particular stories -or he was high- and it’s an absolute delight to get lost in them. Plus his poems and short limericks are a treat, and of course have very important morals. My favourite character would probably have to be thE blue caterpillar. 
I could quite happily get lost in Wonderland any day of the week!

I was never really drawn to gothic novels growing up. Sure i likes the tone of Lemony Snicket, but books such as phantom of the opera were classed as classics and to be honest classics always seemed so daunting to me. I always associated them with big long words i couldn’t pronounce out loud, let alone actually know what they meant. Until last year, on a miserable cold and wet day, i ducked into a bookshop and bought this book on impulse. So many people had recommended i read it, but i was hesitant until that day. 
Two days later i’d devoured it and had a serious case of DBES (dried and burning eye syndrome) which took some time to fully heal which was unfortunate. On the upside, I absolutely loved the book. For me a great book isn’t just about the story, its about everything else that comes with it; the vibe and theme, the ways its written, the characters… i could go on forever. But i guess the main thing i’m trying to say is that everything matters -if you were watching a kiss scene in a romance film you wouldn’t expect a heavy metal song in the background to set the mood. Phantom of the opera was this for me. It had everything going on, in all the right places and has quickly become one of my ultimate favourites.

Kelly Cutrone? The boss lady from The Hills? yeah, thats the one. 

You know that saying 'don't judge a book by its cover'? Whenever I hear this phrase, both this book & Kelly Cutrone are among the first to come to mind. I say this because everyone i have recommended the book to, who has also seen the hills, is surprised at who Kelly Cutrone, the woman herself, actually is. I have to admit, even I was too. 
I’m not going to start rambling on about this book because, well because if i start won’t stop. I could actually write a book devoted to Kelly Cutrone as thanks for sharing he advice on life, love and business. This book was one of my recommended buys on amazon, and after years of shunning it away i finally bought it on a rainy day. Reflecting back it’s probably the best book I’ve ever bought for my soul, and ultimately gave me a little bit of hope to pull me out of what felt like a never-ending dark phase in my life. Kelly Cutrone lets us in on both her personal and professional life, the highs and the lows. In my eyes it’s a great read and a must for any girls (or guys) bookshelf!

What are your favourite books? 
Cheerio for now! 


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Monday, 2 March 2015

Where should i start?

I've been in the blogosphere for around 2-3. Flitting from private blogs, to bigger platforms, Different concepts, you name it! It all started as just a pass time, something I enjoyed doing but never expected anything from it.

I recently had a lot of difficulties with a different blog platform that I've been with for the past year. Coming to the realisation that the platform werent for me, i decided to start a fresh and pop on back over here. Not only was it not for me but i also realised that i weren't writing for me no more. I was constantly caught up on what other people wanted to hear and so i was always conscious whether it would be a liked post by my readers or not.

I get that to a certain extent you have to take your readers into consideration but at the end of the day wants the point in doing something that doesn't make you happy no more? When its more of a burden then something you enjoy? I decided to pull that plug and get back to where i started, which is right here, on this platform.

This little space of the internet is my own to do what i wish with it. I don't know what it will become or what you'll find on here from time to time; sometimes my mind seems to wander a little all over the place. Moreover I'm a spoonie (more to come on that) and the scheduling of posts that'll be put up on here, is going to be a little all over the place also so bear with me folks!

Cheerio for now! 

St. Leanne

Ever since i was little I’ve always wanted a dog. To be more precise -a black labrador. Since my parents divorced when i was a tot, its been just me and my mom in a typical three-story townhouse, with little-to-none garden, located in the centre of my hometown. As a result of it just being the two of us, wherever my mom went i went too and in a way i became her sidekick. 

i grew up actively involved in a stage school community where everyone seems to get to know each other pretty quickly. Strangers become familiar faces, familiar faces become friends, and then friends became unbiological family whom even to this day i hold dear, cherish and trust more so then some of my own family members. Our stage school consisted of three branches set up in different locations around our local area, one of which where my mom would help out with paperwork on Fridays. This is where we met Leanne. Leanne was an average build woman. She was kind, talkative, and was always had a smile on her face or was laughing her head off. Around the time i got to know her she had the gold Dolce & Gabbana Motorola, which i absolutely adored. As a fellow only-child, she also contaminated me with OCS (only child syndrome) and before i knew it i had my very own gold D&G motorola. Within an instance of meeting Leanne and her family, a friendship had forged for life and so, with that lots of memories too. 

One Saturday at the beginning of February 2007 i walked into my stage school, having been dropped off by my nan, expecting it to be a normal day of singing & drama workshops. Instead i walked into a room, greeted by my mom flapping with excitement, to be told that we were getting a black lab. i was ecstatic! i didn’t know what to do. So many mixed emotions, it was a little difficult to control myself. Singing and Drama workshops seemed to drag that day and i couldn’t wait to get out of there to hear more about my pup, though there was bad news. The lady whom we were getting it from, had been out when we’d enquired about the pup and said we’d have him, she had came home to find that her partner had already sold him without realising the pup was already spoken for. 

After receiving the news, my heart shattered and a dark cloud formed above me. I was moody and snapped at anyone who dared to cross my path. After that moment Leanne and my mom scoured high and low for a litter of black pups, until a few days later Leanne pulled through and we made the fifteen minute journey to the lady who was selling them. In my mind it was a done deal before we’d even got there. We decided on this little chubb of black fur. I say chubb but he was just like any other pup just with abnormal amount of loose skin and huge paws -the amount of times people would exclaim that he’d grow into a big dog! I named him Myles. My mom wanted Sonny, but it just didn’t suit him. 

Overtime and on into my years of secondary school, me and Myles fell into a routine of our days. Before school my mom would drive me to the strawberry fields just along from my school and id walk around the fields with him. I’d then take him back to the car and collect my bag before walking along to school and hear the echo of him crying, as he watched me walk off. After school i’d walk home and greeted at the door by a panting, slobbering lab eager to say hi and be fed his supper. We’d head down and both have dinner, he his doggy biccys and me my legendary microwave pizza. We’d then settle in my bedroom, as i did my coursework and he proceeded to lay all over my array of papers sprawled across my bed. 

This routine lasted until September 2010 when i came down with a mystery illness, which was later diagnosed as multiple chronic illness’. After that my health spiralled downhill, and i soon had to drop out of education, rely on a carer around the clock as well as a wheelchair when i left the house and became completely housebound and bed bound. My home became my hospital, the walls of my bedroom became my prison cell and i was sentenced for who knew how long. Through this period of time, things became tough and i started to slip into a dark frame of mind. Throughout this time Myles became my guardian angel. He became highly sensitive to how i was feeling, and so whenever i was having a particularly dark day he wouldn’t leave me side and became my shadow. He no longer climbed onto my lap but instead curled up next to me with only a paw and his head resting on my leg; Hoping somehow his love would cure me. We’d sit together as i prayed for someone, somewhere to make me better, i didn’t care if i was completely cured or not, i just wanted even a small fraction of the pain away. Looking back i can see how, in fact, Leanne was actually the guardian angel sent to me as she led me to Myles. She’d led me to the greatest gift of all, and thats pretty special. 

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